Good runs, bad runs

I will start with the bad and end with the good.

Thursday is my medium long run day. The day that I will do tempo or speed work. Usually 7 miles does not kill me or make me hate running. Usually I can get through it, muster up my energy and make it happen. This day was not that day. I had probably one of my worst runs that I can remember for a training run. This day made me feel so incredibly small and self-defeated. I really wanted to cry this day. I walked more than I ran and wanted desperately to just be done and home so I could drink some ice cold water. Every house I passed that had a hose in front became like a sick temptress taunting me to take a drink from it or hose myself down. Sure, the homeowners may not be pleased to see some girl that looks dazed and confused in their yard hosing herself down. I know, that is kind of a funny mental picture if you think about it long enough. I made it through the run with not the worst time in the world...but with my spirit feeling low and demoralized. I knew there would be better run days ahead and to let it go. Did I mention that is was about 83 degrees and SUNNY?

Saturday was going to be a 12 miler. 6 with the team and 6 after by myself. The start of the day was with a quick look at the weather...71 degrees...100% humidity. Nice! I remained optimistic...days with the team are so much better than days without. After some announcements and team pep talks, we had a mission moment. The mission moment is when someone that has a connection to the cause shares their story with the team. Today it was from a lady named Suzanne. She started talking about her 7 children...yes...7! She told us about how the week she was giving birth to one child, she discovered that another, Philip, had Leukemia. This was March 2008. He will be treated with chemo for 3 years, this is standard for children with cancer. He was also given high doses of steroids that have caused his hip bone to start degenerating...this is an unfortunate side effect of the treatment. This means that he is not allowed to run, play at recess and do all the normal things that 5 year old boys like to do. This breaks my heart...I know how my 5 year old LOVES to run and play...if he couldn't...that would be so sad for him. This little guy, this resiliant little boy was in the parking lot behind the team as Suzanne spoke to everyone. Guess what he was doing? Running around, playing with his siblings. That made us all smile a bit. I know I am going off subject...I think my point was that this child was enduring some unspeakable treatments and hard times...but still being a happy boy about it. If he can do that, I can run 12 miles and not be in agony.

I made up my mind that I was going to have a great run that day...and I did. With my fellow teammates by my side, I ran 6 miles, then looped back in to drop them off and headed out for 6 more by myself. That 6 felt GOOD....it felt KICK ASS actually. I had more times on my Garmin in the 9 minute per mile range than I did in the 10-11 range. That was not my normal MO at all. You know what though? It FELT good!!! I felt good running faster...it almost felt like I got a new running stride that I had not known before. Like it was buried deep within me and it burst out and wanted to make me run faster than ever before. My heart rate wasn't too high either, I was able to maintain a good average and finished around my last half marathon pace. I finished my run, happy and feeling like I had conquered some demons that I had been battling earlier in the week.

Some runs make you fight like hell for air, other runs just let you find your stride and enjoy the wind blowing on your face. I wonder what my next run day will be?

Daily mantra:
It's going to be a good day